The voice of mediocrity

"Though the Christian men of our culture are supposed to be the ones who will rise above the debased mediocrity around them, they are ensnared by the same warped perspective and sinful sexual vices as the rest of their male counterparts. 

In fact, the Church is literally inundated with pastors, leaders and Christ-professing men who are enslaved to Internet porn, pre-marital sex, adulterous affairs and even homosexuality. 51% of Pastors say Internet pornography is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle – and these are just the ones who were actually being honest when polled. 

What modern masculinity needs is a serious shot of the saving, redeeming, transforming, delivering power of Jesus Christ.

As women, what, then, can we do?

Hold men to a higher standard. Let them know that you believe God has something so much better for them, and fight for them in diligent prayer until you see real changes happen in their lives.

Don't throw yourself at guys. Ask God to overcome your impatience and give you the strength to wait for a true warrior-poet rather than settling for less just because you are afraid you’ll miss your chance. Not with arrogance, but with patient trust in Christ, allow a guy to prove that he is truly worthy of your heart, rather than tossing it to someone who doesn’t value or treasure it. If you want a warrior-poet man, then become a true princess of purity who knows how to guard what is sacred.

Make Jesus Christ your first love. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys no longer dominate our thinking, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart. "  

[sharing words from Leslie Ludy, Sept. 2009] 

On 'lifelong romance' :)

An excerpt from Choosing God's Best: Wisdom for Lifelong Romance by Dr. Don Raunikar (a must-read, if you ask me! Please do - you wouldn't want to miss being in the center of God's perfect will - such beauty and bliss - when your 'lifelong romance' is guided, and yes, God's choice!) [ i would so much like to buy all of you a copy if only i could :) ]

These aren't strict, go-by-the-book sets of rules. Don't forget that balance is important, and God created each love story different and unique :) It simply lets us follow His path to lasting love and romance (dating in marriage), instead of creating a counterfeit (fake) bond with someone who is not God-chosen for us. Enjoy!

Step 1. Dump dating. Choose to break up with dating. Believe that God is a better Matchmaker than you are. Be committed to wait for His best for your life (Colossians 2:8).

Step 2. Develop your worth and identity in Christ. While you wait for God's timing, concentrate on being the right person instead of finding the right person. Focus on your value and identity in Christ instead of your value to someone else (Galatians 1:10).

Step 3. Be involved in ministry. Develop godly characteristics such as servanthood and sacrifice, both of which will be essential to a successful marriage. Also, keep in mind that, many times, God will use a ministry to introduce you to your future mate (Mark 10:45) Caution: Don't be in a ministry for this reason - God knows the motives of our hearts and people will see the fruit we bear.

Step 4. Find an accountability couple. While you are single, seek the Lord for an accountability couple-preferably your parents. As you approach the level of intimate friendship, receive the full knowledge and blessing from your parents or another accountability couple. Be open to their protection, correction, and direction (Proverbs 12:15).

Step 5. Complete the preparations for courtship. Spend your season of singleness preparing yourself for a future marriage by developing godly character, emotional health, financial stability, and vocational and household skills. Not preparing for a courtship may result in a mud slide (Matthew 7:24-25).

Step 6. Develop healthy, godly friendships. Fellowship with other believers will help you develop friendships and fight off loneliness. "How do you get to know someone if you don't date?" --> Through godly friendships (Song of Songs 2:7). [godly means no flirting - consider your future spouse, and the future spouse of the other person you are friends with!] A solid friendship is the cornerstone for a solid marriage. [But the keyword here is 'godly' - never assume to be friends with someone because you think they might be the one for you. Always consider God's direction, make the friendship God-centered and healthy, and think about that person's future spouse: "If our future spouses were to come into our lives right now, would they be comfortable with our friendship?"

Step 7. Seek God's will. Seek God's will in every aspect of your life, especially whom to court (for men), and whom to accept (for women). When the difficult times in your marriage come (and they will), you can stand firm knowing God brought your mate into your life (Proverbs 3:5-6) Billy Graham once said, "I believe if you are a Christian, God has the ideal person picked out for you. If you don't wait for God's choice, you get just the second or third best."

Step 8. Make a commitment. Once an intimate friendship is developed and we believe he or she may be our intended partner, we enter a courtship with the understanding that marriage is the expected end result.

Step 9. Develop spiritual oneness. To build a solid marriage, the first cornerstone is the development of spiritual oneness through prayer, Bible study, and ministry opportunities (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Step 10. Develop emotional oneness. The next building block in a good marriage is the development of emotional oneness through sharing personal needs and feelings with each other. This is the point where you may guard your heart from others, but you can fully reveal your heart to your mate (Proverbs 4:23).

Step 11. Develop physical oneness. The last step of the courtship process is becoming one physically after marriage (Genesis 2:24). When a couple reserves physical intimacy until after marriage, they have a deeper sense of security and trust for one another.

Step 12. Pass courtship along to others. Instill the courtship principles in your children and your friends. Become an accountability couple to other courting couples. Share your testimony and the blessing of the courtship process with others.

Lastly, i love the saying that goes, "If you want the finest wine, you have to be patient for it."

I do believe that when we humbly ask the Lord and deeply desire to honor Him even in our relationship now, He will be the third strand in our marriage. ♥♥



Others-centered

And finally, it is my own time to really see and taste it: to be others-centered (here's a Haitian story). 

Indeed, i have found out, that it really is the cure for any form of ailment - whether i'm lonely, depressed, dreaming of days-to-come, or focusing on myself. It helps me remove the focus on my own prayer concerns, and give myself, which has been bought at a high Price, to others, who have been bought at the equally high Price.

I never knew this so much joy was possible.

Sure, i do long for "a strong, tender, manly hand cradling mine" as we walk together and dream about kids - these are never far. But I know the God i'm trusting and His ways are perfect (God is never late!). Knowing this has given me exuberant freedom to enjoy the present 'waiting time' and give myself fully to others - the needy, from all walks of life.

You can be others-centered, too!

You are made to be Christ's hands and feet to the least, and no gates of hell can stop you from living this out. Don't be daunted by how little you can do, either! There is always something significant you can give for the glory of your King Jesus!

Your every fabric testifies of who the Lord is. What a great way to spill your life out for the Gospel!

And from my heart, I say, you too, will be filled - to overflowing - with the secret to real joy. His.

♥♥